Pursuit of Happiness

Dalam ceramahnya, Nouman Ali Khan (NAK) mengawali keheranannya terhadap American dream yang saat ini juga menjadi mimpi hampir semua orang di dunia: life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. Selama 15 tahun, NAK merasa heran dan mencari tahu apakah di Al Quran ada perintah untuk mengejar kebahagiaan (pursuit of happiness). Akhirnya dia tidak menemukannya, Allah swt tidak pernah mengatakannya secara eksplisit.

Makan di restoran favorit, bahagia

Baca buku favorit, bahagia

Kelas kosong, bahagia

Kantor libur, bahagia

Menang undian, bahagia

Bahagia itu sederhana. Hehehe.

Tapi rasa bahagia itu akan hilang, setelah semuanya habis, hilang, selesai atau rusak. Allah memberikan banyak potensi emosi bagi manusia,  dan bahagia hanyalah salah satu saja. Oleh karena itu, NAK merasa heran jika ada yang berkata: “I just want to be happy” karena itu bukan tujuan manusia diciptakan. Manusia diciptakan untuk berjuang dalam setiap skenario yang Alloh swt berikan.

Sudah lama saya melihat video NAK dengan tema tersebut. Hari ini, saya membaca artikel The Purpose of Life Is Not Happiness, dan menemukan kutipan yang sangat relevan.

A meaning to one’s life should embrace a struggle for it is necessary to move through time believing your suffering holds a great purpose. Thus it is not a question of a meaning to life itself, but instead a meaning to the suffering endured through life.

Life without depth, without suffering is shallow and meaningless. You have to answer the deepest questions that life brings. And, by pursuing constant satisfaction you invite a hollow existence.

A purpose to life, a struggle against nature or a deep breath amid chaos is almost always more glamorous than happiness. Aldous Huxley believed that a shift in our perspective, amongst other things, is needed if we are to avoid what at this moment seems inevitable.

 

 

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Trees

Membaca lagi Software testing: a research travelogue untuk kedua kalinya dan selalu terkesan dengan dua paragraf ini:

As Mary Jean’s Ph.D. students, postdoctoral advisees, close colleagues, and friends, we are humbled in taking on the task of writ- ing a Travelogue that should, indeed, be hers to write. As we re-read Mary Jean’s own words, from her Travelogue of 2000, we hear her voice clearly in our heads; and we overhear again the many conversations we had with her, about work, about life, about life’s work. We know we have been forever changed by her, and will forever feel the effects of those changes.

But of course, we are not the only persons who can say this. Mary Jean touched many lives in many ways, and helped so many people achieve a level of potential that they might not otherwise have achieved. Alex remembers something that Mary Jean said of- ten during his early years at Georgia Tech, as they were pulling all- nighters for papers or research proposals: “If anyone can do it, you can, Alex.” The way Mary Jean said this, with her genuine smile, completely captures her attitude toward people—students and collaborators in particular—and her ability to motivate and even nudge them a bit, while always doing so in a pleasant and encouraging way. Gregg recalls a day when, nearing graduation and beginning his job search, and tired of spending the bulk of his time in the lab, he told Mary Jean that he hoped to end up someplace where he could plant an orchard and grow trees. Mary Jean replied, “your students will be your trees”. And so they have been.

P.S. Kedua penulis (Alessandro dan Gregg) adalah murid  dari Mary Jean (R.I.P).

PMB

Di saat kampus sudah mulai ramai dengan berbagai kegiatan untuk menyambut mahasiswa baru, di situ saya jadi sadar dengan jatah waktu yang berkurang lagi satu semester :))

 

Minyak angin

Seiring bertambahnya usia, barang yang dulu tidak penting tapi sekarang menjadi penting adalah:

  • minyak angin atau minyak aroma terapi seperti F*eshCa*e atau saingannya, Sa*eCa*e. Pusing-pusing, pegel-pegel, mual-mual, tinggal oles di leher, atas alis 😀
  • Sunscreen
  • teh aneka rasa buat nge-teh habis subuh. sekarang baru koleksi lemon tea, green tea, black tea, mau nambah blackcurrent, strawberry, jeruk purut, mint tea 😀

Sudut pandang

Menarik (dan mengerikan) sekali memang tentang masalah sudut pandang ini. Dan bagiku, yang terkadang harus (iya, diriku yang mengharuskan) melihat dari dua sisi, tiga sisi, membuatku senang bermain-main dengan cara orang lain memandang terhadap suatu kejadian, peristiwa, bahkan satu kalimat 😀

Kalau dipikir-pikir, kok ya kompleks banget ya manusia itu. Dengan semua kelengkapan yang Allah SWT berikan: kemampuan bahasa, logika, memori jangka panjang, memori jangka pendek, abstraksi, dan masih banyak lagi yang lainnya, manusia bukan hanya bisa menghasilkan begitu banyak penemuan budaya, teknologi, seni, tapi juga menyebabkan begitu banyak kehancuran 😦 Na’udzubillah…

Kembali ke masalah sudut pandang, seringkali kita menilai sudut pandang orang lain dengan kacamata kita. Kacamata kita dibentuk dari mana? Dari memori masa lalu kita, dari apa yang kita pelajari, dari apa yang kita dapatkan, dll. Dan hal itu sering menimbulkan masalah yang besar, mengerikan, dan menghancurkan. Contohnya, pada polemik Jerussalem dari sudut pandang Amerika yang diambil dari [1].

Sejak perjalanan pertama Christopher Colombus ke benua baru itu, yang disusul perjalanan kedua, cerita-cerita tentang dunia baru (Amerika) di kalangan warga dunia lama (Eropa) beredar seperti legenda dan khurafat: Amerika adalah “Tanah yang Dinjanjikan (the promised land)” yang sesungguhnya; luas tanahnya cukup untuk siapapun, tanahnya mengandung apapun yang diinginkan bahkan lebih, dan yang penting, benua baru itu adalah tanah yang tanpa pemilik – tidak ada gerejanya – tidak ada kaum feodalnya – tidak ada hukum/undang-undangnya – dan tidak ada polisinya. Pendek cerita, dunia baru itu adalah sebuah padang yang terbuka bagi siapapun yang berani menyeberangi Atlantik, dan mampu mengelola dan menjaga batas tanah miliknya, yang tiap hari bisa diperluas dan diperlebar.

Mengacu pada logika seperti itulah, seorang Presiden cerdas seperti Bill Clinton akhirnya berkesimpulan bahwa adalah penting bagi orang Arab untuk menyerahkan Jerusalem kepada Israel. Namun jika bangsa Arab dan juga kaum Muslim bersikeras  bahwa “Jerusalem adalah milik Arab”, maka mereka bisa mengubah nama sebuah kampung di balik gunung Jerusalam, yaitu Abu Dis, untuk dinamai Jerusalem. Keunggulan Abu Dis karena berjarak beberapa kilometer dari Jerusalem yang asli. Bill Clinton lalu menambahkan, orang Amerika sudah sering melakukan hal semacam itu: di Amerika banyak sekali kota yang dinamai kota Jerusalem, kota Cairo, kota Alexandria dan kota Beirut.

Namun, Alhamdulillah, harapan itu selalu ada. Manusia dianugerahi kemampuan untuk selalu belajar, bertumbuh. Kita, manusia, selalu berharap akan masa depan yang lebih baik, sehingga kita tak kenal lelah untuk mempelajari semua rahasia alam semesta dan isinya. Kita selalu bisa menunda keinginan untuk melihat hasil perbaikan pada suatu jarak waktu tertentu.

“Dan jangan kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, melainkan kaum yang kafir”. (QS. 12:87)

Ref:

[1] https://www.kompasiana.com/sabdullah/5a912b10bde5756e1b535fd2/12-kunci-untuk-memahami-watak-amerika-dan-warga-amerika

No title

Ya Rabb,

Bantu hamba untuk selalu menempatkan-Mu di atas segalanya

Di atas rasa cinta kepada keluarga

Di atas rasa cinta kepada rasa ingin tahu

Di atas rasa cinta kepada benda

Di atas rasa cinta kepada diri

Beautiful words

Blog-ku, nitip nyimpen supaya bisa dibaca lagi ya.. hehehe

Postingan dari dianarikasari (https://www.instagram.com/p/BfV2Z4CnaEj/?hl=en&taken-by=dianarikasari):

Today my beautiful Daria vomited because I insisted for her to finish her carrots. She actually ate her carrots just fine, but as a mom, I always have that feeling where I will only feel happy feeding my kids if I see their plates perfectly clean and empty afterwards. But I guess this time I fed her more than she could take and I simply overdid the portion. I should have stopped but I didn’t.
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Motherhood is never an easy task because I personally feel it gets very.. personal. You sometimes get confused whether what you’re doing is for your kid’s sake or actually for your own. It’s also because motherhood is very exhausting that us mothers tend to always try to make ourselves feel ‘good’ by doing what WE think is right but very often neglecting how THEY feel. Lack of reward? Maybe. Or maybe because we just feel that no reward is ever enough for what we have gone through during pregnancy and giving birth and everything that comes after therefore we always want to put OUR feelings first than others.
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Can we ever stop feeling this way? I don’t know. Some can, some can’t, some won’t. After being a mother for the past 4 years to two children, here is what I have learned so far:
1. “Mothers know best”. Nope. A lot of mothers are clueless, including myself. I do believe in the power of a “mother’s intuition”, but even intuitions can go wrong. Mothers are simply best when they are open minded and willing to learn about being a mother itself; by reading books, articles, joining mom groups, consulting with experts, seeking opinions from family and friends. And even after all that learning, we’ll still make mistakes. It’s okay. Don’t be stubborn and think we always have to be right.

(continued in the comment section below)

2. There is no such thing as a supermom. We’re all just moms trying to raise our kids in our own pace and capacity. Working / not working, natural birth / gentle birth / c-section, breastfeed / formula milk, nanny / no nanny, spoon-fed weaning / baby-led weaning, disposable diapers / cloth diapers, (and the list goes on), WE HAVE OUR OWN REASONS. Let’s not make this decisions cloud our life forever and make us judge other mothers more or less. My friends often tell me that I’m such a ‘supermom’ for being able to work and still take care of the kids all by myself while my hubby is away. But you see: 1) I had a such a bad migraine on my 2nd night that I had to take 3 paracetamols and even that didn’t help so I just forced myself to sleep, 2) I fell asleep while I was playing with both of my kids on the bed and woke up 30 minutes later only to find them still lying next to me peacefully (thank God no one fell off the bed, really), 3) it’s the 4th day since hubby left and today I woke up with no voice already. I am THAT tired. So it’s not about being ‘super’. It’s just about sucking it all up because you have no other choice or because we decided to take up the challenge. That’s all.
3. Focus on our children’s happiness, not on tiny milestones that won’t even matter when they grow up. Have you heard the story of an employer interviewing a candidate where he asked, “when did you start walking?” and “at what age did you start reading?”. Never? Because there’s no such story. These things that we unconsciously compete with other mothers on, they won’t matter. Motherhood is not a competition and our children’s milestones are not too.
4. Be kind to other mothers. Mothers have gone through enough and we don’t need more drama by having mean moms around us. If you feel depressed because other mothers’s seem to be bullying you, open up. Share about it. Don’t keep it to yourself. And if you’re the bully, just don’t. Learn to mind your own business.
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Make every day your own kind of Mother’s Day where we feel happy for being one in our own way. And never stop learning.